This past week, I am scheduled for four days of work. Normally, this wouldn’t phase me too bad. I know it’s winter and the business is slower than usual so we all are scheduled less. The past two days however, I haven’t been able to get these four days out of my head. I am feeling so many mixed emotions about having an extra day off.
“Will I be able to pay bills?!”
“Do I not work hard enough to deserve five days?!”
“Why do other employees who I’ve been told I am better than get more days?!”
“Why am I unable to enjoy these two days off?!”
I really had to change my thoughts each time I started stressing out about work.
“Yes you will be able to pay bills, just be more frugal.”
“You work hard enough and they want to reward you with an extra days off.”
“All those other employees do is complain to management and they are being phased out of the store anyway so do not worry about them.”
“You can work on your mom’s website instead and get that off the ground.”
At first I was really angry for a very insignificant reason. Then I went back and forth from enjoying the days off to stressing out about it. I prayed so much over this meaningless thing.
And my prayers were answered.
I got a lot of work on my mom’s website done and it should be up and running soon. I got a couple great workouts in including some bike rides. I secured an apartment for next year with my friend and my bills will go down. Today I am going back to work. Tonight I am hanging out with my sister.
I take these for signs that everything will be ok and I just need to relax.
This morning I had my weekly speed workout. Today’s was 8×600 meters at my 5K pace. It was hard, but I felt good at the end. Like I worked my butt off, but I could do more. I don’t feel lethargic and am ready to go to work. I think this is a sign too that the past two days helped me recover well from workouts. I feel so much more relaxed!
How do you deal with anxiety?
What makes you the most anxious?