Changes begin on Monday [Any advice welcome!]

Every once in a while, I feel a bit…flat.

Nothing in my life is going terribly that I need to change. In fact, I have a pretty stellar life. I live with my best friend and have two cats. I have a job that I like and is keeping me entertained for now. I know what things I want to do in the future, but am also open to opportunities that come my way.

Basically, things should be good. But I feel stagnant.

I have decided to take July off of running and wait to jog until my hip is 100 percent better. This has not been as hard of a decision as I thought. I don’t really mind the elliptical (within reason) and also have been trying to do more focused strength training. I’ve taken up yoga again when I have time.

I still feel like I am not going in a direction I want. Or at least I could be moving faster.

People talk about overall health. I think I do a pretty good job of that. I am vegan, but that is for ethical reasons. I enjoy my fair share of whatever I want be it really expensive fruit (WTF dragonfruit??? $5 splurge) or a pint of ice cream. I am at a place now where I truly enjoy food both because it makes me healthy but also because it is fun.

However, a bit personal here, I think I could do with a few more pounds on my frame. This thought, not the extra love, but the change, is what I think is making me feel flat.

I could just keep doing what I am doing and be relatively fine. I enjoy all food, I try to eat both intuitive (when I am hungry) and not (to enjoy moments and flavors) and I generally like my body. There are a few things I deal with that aren’t ideal. I won’t go into those personal things, but they have stood out to me in the past week more than they usually do.

Maybe it’s the summer (I wear less clothing) or the meditation from the yoga, but I’ve begun to ponder my journey toward a healthy life. What if I had the same relaxed attitude about food that I have now, but have 10 or 15 more pounds on me? Would I enjoy my life more? Would the things I do not like about my body change? Would the things I do like about my body change?

I think the answers to those last three questions is yes. That has inspired me to change a few things.

I have never tracked calories or macros. That ain’t my jam folks. I don’t plan to do that. However, I’m not an idiot. I know that scientifically speaking, if I eat more calories than I expend, the weight will come on. With that weight, I hope the other difficulties I am noticing will resolve themselves.

I don’t have a plan yet (maybe tomorrow’s post?) but that is the direction I am heading.

I would love everyone’s thoughts or if they have done this kind of thing before, any helpful pointers they have. Keep in mind, I am an athlete so I eat pretty hardy anyway.

No questions, just your thoughts.

Happy Monday!

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8 comments

  1. It sounds like you have a really healthy relationship with food and your body. If you believe gaining weight would help your health (body and mind), then maybe try to incorporate more calorically dense foods (avocados, nuts, seeds) into your diet and see what happens. Maybe splurge on a session with a nutritionist. My situation is a little different, as I am a recovered anorexic so gaining weight was critical to my health, but when I was trying to gain, I found the advice of a professional to be very helpful.
    Some people are just naturally thin, though, and have a hard time gaining weight no matter what they eat. My advice would be to not push it too hard, and try instead to accept and love the body you’re in (unless you are underweight to a point that is unhealthy). We all have things about ourselves we wish we could change (my nose, for instance 🙂 ) but sometimes the true change needs to be how we perceive it.

    • I love this answer! I think you hit the nail on the head. I do accept myself for where I am, but am also open to stepping out of my comfort zone in favor of change. Thank you for your thoughts and ideas 🙂

  2. I really respect this post. You are beyond brave. I have had to work to put weight back on myself and it is a struggle. I would suggest eating more frequently. Although you may eat intuitively, I suggest potentially eating smaller meals, but almost constantly throughout the day. Also increasing the healthy fats and proteins will help you gain the right kind of weigh (muscle instead of just pure fat). Thank you for sharing this!

    • Thanks Jamie! Reading your posts are really informative for these issues. I will certainly take your thoughts into consideration 🙂

  3. So much and respect and encouragement. Gaining weight can be a mental battle more than anything, but you never know who good it can be. I am always here for you, and you know I am only an email away. After reading your first email, and then seeing this post, I just know great things are in store for you! Sending you so much strength. ❤

    • Thanks Julia! You will be a great support for me in this. Your knowledge and experience is so important for complete health :-*

  4. Hey Ellie! Thanks so much for your openness and honesty.

    I went through a similar time when I needed to gain weight for health reasons (which probably included some of the other difficulties you mentioned) and the mental battle was definitely the hardest. I felt like when I was super thin, I was safe and would never have to worry about becoming overweight, so purposely gaining weight was a little scary. (Also, a huge cultural message we get is to LOSE weight, so when you’re the exception who needs to GAIN weight, it feels kind of off?)

    But anyway, not deliberating what I ate so much was huge for me. I stopped thinking so much about whether or not I should have a snack, eat dessert, bake treats, etc… and just did it more often and it’s became more natural. Basically, not saying “no” to myself so much.

    Embracing how I look after gaining weight has actually not been as hard as I would’ve expected, just because it’s so much less of a focus for me now. (although I could probably talk to you about it for a long time!) Seriously, if you need someone to talk with about it, I’m just an email or FaceTime call away!

    Good luck, Ellie!

    • Thank you for reaching out Liv! I would love to email with you and hear your thoughts and share my experience. What is your email?

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