Coffee Time [11/10/2015]

If we were having coffee there are a bunch of things in my brain that would spill into your cup.

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1.) My run this morning was really sweaty and hard. I didn’t do speed or tempo or long, but it was pretty taxing. I also think that the treadmill I used needs some oil, it was a bit rough riding.

2.) My cat threw up this morning right after I fed him. Did I step in it you ask? Why, YES, yes I did. Thank you Sterling you oaf.

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3.) I invited my mother over for lunch yesterday. This was a big step for me because I like my space. She declined because she was busy with her store (le, sigh) but it was a step in the right direction.

4.) On that note, the one thing that made me a bit sad on Saturday was after teh fashion show. I came to support my mom and she did wonderful. Right afterwards, of course she expected me to help her clean up. I was a bit put off by this because a.) it was my birthday and I was not asked and b.) she never has time for anything but her store. Let me explain a bit further. Whenever she comes to “visit” me either at work or at home, she’s on a mission. It’s either to get something for her store so she was in the area already and happened to stop by, so she wants free bread and bagels. I cannot remember the last time she came to IThaca just to see me or invited me over without saying “bring us some bread and bagels.” I know she loves me, but sometimes I just want her to ask to see me with no strings attached. This is why I asked her over for lunch. But of course she couldn’t and then proceeded to ask me to come help her at her shop. I declined. I want to see her, not get put to work. Thank you very much. Oh well, there is progress, but I’m impatient.

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5.) I have some new work goals. This past Saturday I had a meeting with both my bosses to discuss how we were doing and what the future looks like. I got a lot of positive reviews but a couple negative ones which I plan to work on today. I need to work on my filter and not say what pops into my head all the time. I am not inappropriate, but sometimes I should keep what I have to say, nice, funny or not inside my brain. (hello this is hard!) The second thing is to refocus myself from task to customer orientated. I get things done efficiently and well, but sometimes I lose focus and forget customer satisfaction. That should be my number one. The third thing is that I can be short with customers at the end of the day when I am exhausted. This basically means instead of being exuberant and happy to take their order, I have a normal level of happiness which comes off as rude. No customer has ever complained but my boss just wants to make me aware of it.

6.) They gave me a small raise so I was very thankful for that.

7.) God really is good. I am in a tight financial budget right now and that has been really trying for me. I have had to trust Him even more to provide the income and resources for my car and apartment. He has been so good! First I got reimbursed for my RNR races at the perfect tiem, then my birthday hppened so I made some extra chas there. My Ragnar jar is filling up so I have faith I’ll be able to do that come May. He is really doing great things for me. I will continue to trust him.

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8.) On a final note, tomorrow I am having breakfast with my pastor at New Life Pres. I have tons of questions and cannot wait to find out more about the church. This is a good step in figuring out my Chrisitian walk.

What would you tell me if we had coffee?

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10 comments

  1. If we had coffee I would tell you that I have a daughter that is exactly your age and brilliant just like you. She lives 3 hours away and is taking Bio medical Engineering at a University. Like your mom, I too own a business that consumes me. When my daughter and I are together, I know she loves me, and feels my love for her but we are not close and relaxed the way I would like us to be and I’m not sure why or how to fix it. Anyways, your post about your mom and your relationship pulled at my heart strings.

  2. I can’t exactly put my finger on it but I think it stems from when she was 14 and my husband and I split and she took that very hard. Thank you for asking, Ellie.

  3. This was fun to read, Ellie! I am so happy you got a raise (woo hoo!!!) and you’re meeting with a pastor from a church. I hope all goes well for you because there is just nothing like the feeling of belonging at a church. The support, friendship, service opportunities…. it’s just amazing!

    Also, I’m sorry about the whole deal with your mom and her expecting you to clean up. Have you tried to tell her you feel like she’s always kind of using you? Maybe if you had an honest conversation, you could delve into how you feel. I know things aren’t easy with your family with communication, but you never know :). I’ll be praying!

    • P.S. If things don’t work out at the Presbyterian church, try looking for a Church of Christ or Christian Church. I feel as though they most closely follow the Bible (because they’re non-denominational) versus Baptist, Presbyterian, etc.! Just my two cents!

      • The meeting I had cleared things up for me. Honestly the biggest differences between denominations are how the church is governed. I think I will fit in nicely. I did go to a Bible church while in college and I loved it. The pastor (for my current church) was really great and made me feel welcome. He even invited me to the grad student bible study. I hope I have the time to go! πŸ™‚ Thanks for your advice!

    • I have tried telling her in the past but she always gets offended. It’s something I have to accept. I do not take it personally anymore and get over it quickly. Thanks for the prayers! I can feel them πŸ™‚

  4. Ellie, that makes me a bit sad for you! I feel the same because I have often had the sense of my parents “using” me and it’s difficult to avoid being jealous or wistful when I see the relationships many of my friends have with their parents.

    • Yes but it’s getting better. My dad called to invite me to Thanksgiving and I actually feel called to go. I hope that’s a good sign πŸ™‚

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