Last week, I shared my opinions concerning animal cruelty and my vegan diet. This week, I thought I would be a bit more lighthearted and express some things about the vegan movement, or things about vegans in general that I find annoying or silly. In no way am I condemning them, but my preferences work a different way.
I firmly believe that it takes all types to make this movement work. However, below are some examples of things I’ve heard other people say in hopes to inspire change or activism. Laugh and roll your eyes with me. It’s funny to laugh at ourselves sometimes right?
1.) The Asshole Vegan
Come on you Nazi! Animals have their throats slit open, are skinned alive and then washed in fecal water just so you can gluttonously cram their carcasses into your mouth. You monster! Don’t you know that an egg is a chickens period? Literally a menstrual cycle of a bird. You’re eating that. That milkshake has liquid squeezed from the tits of a cow! Who was the first human to think of that? Oh…what are those things? I think I’ll just go and drink what comes out of it! Did you know that no other creature drinks the milk of a different species? I would rather eat wood than eat something dead. You must be ashamed of yourself!
2.) The Uninformed, Preachy Vegan
Eating animals is the only factor contributing to climate change and if we didn’t exploit animals everything would be better and warring nations would stop fighting. You wouldn’t get zits. You would cure your cancer in two weeks. You would save thousands of animals by going vegan and just do it already and you’ll be a nicer person.
3.) The Pushover Vegan
Oh…yea…I don’t eat animal products. LOL. Yea…um…because I like animals…LOL…
4.) The Healthy Vegan
Do you know how BAD meat and dairy are for you? Higher risk of cancer! Higher cholesterol, blood pressure, risk of stroke and type 2 diabetes! Oh, ok you’re vegan now? How about OIL?!?! Do you know that it is not a whole food?! That cookie may be vegan but it’s full of PROCESSED chemicals that are clogging your body! You need to detox! Yes a juice detox! Raw till 4:46PM and then you can have some lentils. Sprouted.
5.) The Superstar Vegan
What? You can’t run a marathon on one leg while juggling pineapple? Why not??? You’re a vegan for gosh sakes! You know that the vegan crowd only takes the best! Oh…you play pick-up soccer? That’s cute, but seriously what did you medal in at the last Olympics? Where are the muscles coming out of your shirt? Your flawless complexion and flowing hair to boot? Of course in order to be the prime vegan example, you must be the best at what you do!
Let’s just admit that each of these vegan stereotypes are available to compare yourself to, and all are annoying to some degree. At various points during my journey I have been all of them (or tried to be) and it was a waste of time, attention and energy. Just be you!
Now, time for WIAW!
Bowl of mashed banana, the waffle mix I got a few weeks ago and peanut butter & apple
Salad and my HOMEMADE sweet potato scones!
Melty chocolate PB banana bowl and greens
Avocado fudge and I pictured scoop of PB
Tell me some funny stories you’re read or heard from vegans or healthy living bloggers!